Anxiety Disorder + Social Interactions… Yikes!!!

When your brain RSVP’d “No” but your calendar said “Yes”

Society constantly force us to be social animals. We’re forced to put a smile on our face amid being hurt. We’re forced to say kind words when others demean us. We’re forced to be friendly to those who secretly wish us harm. It’s challenging enough to be human in today’s world (giving the notion that most of us still haven’t figured it out) but on top of all things because we are human, we’re supposed to be the prime example of knowing how to communicate, compared to that of other species. But sometimes that is not the case.

Social anxiety…what is it?

“To keep it simple,” social anxiety disorder (also known as social phobia) is basically when your brain decides that every social situation is a life-or-death scenario. It’s a type of anxiety disorder marked by overwhelming fear, anxiety, and discomfort whenever other humans are involved. People with social anxiety might dread parties, meetings, or even saying “hi” to the barista (because what if they judge your coffee order)? There are two main types: general and specific. General social anxiety is the “I feel awkward everywhere” variety — from classrooms to grocery stores, the anxiety doesn’t discriminate. Specific social anxiety, on the other hand, is more of a “stage fright” situation — like the terror of speaking in public or performing in front of others while your brain is screaming, everyone’s watching you. Even though social anxiety is incredibly common, it’s still widely misunderstood. Too often, people mistake it for ‘just being shy’ which, it’s not. Understanding the difference can go a long way in helping those who deal with it feel a little less like aliens at the party and a little more… human.

Humans don’t always communicate well

Human beings love to brag about how great we are at communicating. I mean, we’ve got social media, texting, emails, video chats, and about a dozen apps that can turn a simple “hey” into a three-hour conversation or a full-blown argument. With all that tech, you’d think we’d have mastered communication by now. But surprise, surprise… we haven’t. In fact, we might be terrible at it. Let’s be honest: most of us don’t talk to each other — we talk at each other. Just look at any government debate and you’ll see the art of not listening perfectly. Every day, we misread social cues, interrupt each other, or assume someone’s tone from a poorly worded text message. And here’s where things get messy: a lot of these “mis-readings” aren’t innocent mistakes. They often come from bias, prejudice, or just plain refusal to understand someone else’s perspective. That lack of genuine communication only fans the flames of division and makes connecting with others even harder. Now, tie that into social anxiety disorder, and you start to see the problem. People with social anxiety already expect social situations to go badly, they’re convinced conversations will be awkward, judgmental, or just exhausting. So when society keeps proving them right (looking at you, political chaos and fake news), it only strengthens their belief that social interaction is a nightmare best avoided. In short, our fancy modern communication is… well, glitchy at best. We’ve built more ways to talk than ever, yet somehow, we still can’t seem to hear each other.

Fear of rejection

Let’s be real, nobody likes rejection. Whether it’s getting ghosted after a great date, being passed over for that promotion you totally deserved, or realizing your “funny” group chat message landed like a brick — rejection stings. And it’s sneaky; it shows up in personal relationships, workplaces, social circles, and even when debating politics at the dinner table (a bad idea by the way). At its core, the fear of rejection is a classic human trait. It’s practically hardwired into us — right next to the fear of public speaking and accidentally replying-all to a company email. It can make us feel insecure, inadequate, and like we need to crawl under a metaphorical rock until the embarrassment fades.

But here’s where it really hits hard: the fear of disappointing others. That one runs deep. It’s the kind of fear that keeps you saying “yes” when you want to scream “no,” just to keep the peace. Because heaven forbids, we let someone down, especially people we care about. We’re social creatures, after all, and few things feel worse than imagining that our family, friends, or partners might be… disappointed. So, what do we do? We bend, twist, and sometimes completely sideline our own happiness to keep everyone else smiling — not realizing that in doing so, we’re kind of rejecting ourselves. The irony is almost poetic… in our mission to avoid rejection, we end up giving ourselves the cold shoulder. Moral of the story? You can’t please everyone, and trying to is basically a full-time job with no benefits!

The unforeseen impact

One of the most challenging aspects of social anxiety is the impact it has on making friends. Forming a bond with others is a fundamental human need. We crave companionship, understanding, and shared experiences. Social interactions, which come so naturally to many, can be an extreme source of stress for those with social anxiety. Every conversation, every gathering, every casual interaction can become a source of dread. The fear of being judged can make what should be a positive social interaction quickly turn into an unpleasant experience. Yet for those with social anxiety, the basic need to "fit in" can feel like an impossible task. The fear of rejection, of not being good enough, can make it incredibly difficult to reach out and form those vital connections.

It is what it is

Social anxiety—for some, this phrase may not mean much. But for others, it encapsulates a daily struggle, a struggle that can be debilitating, affecting every aspect of their lives. In a world where we are constantly pushed to make formal connections, social anxiety can create a barrier that seems insurmountable. The pressure to be liked, to be a part of the group, can be overwhelming for those who suffer from this condition. Keep in mind, like so many mental disorders, social anxiety is manageable. Based on personal experience, if you take one day at a time, open up to one person at a time, and do not view every stranger as an immediate threat to your sense of self, the anxiousness of socializing becomes less and less.